41.
[98]
Do you think that you can possibly appear to be anything but a condemned man
to me, who have always been of opinion that a man's fortune was to be
estimated by his actions themselves, and not by their results, and that our
character and our fortunes depended not on the voting tablets of a few
judges, but on the opinions and judgments of all the citizens? when I see
that the allies, and the people of the federate states, and all free
nations, and all the tributary peoples, and the merchants, and the farmers
of the public revenue, and the whole population of the city, and the
lieutenants, and the military tribunes, and all the soldiers who are left of
your army—as many as have escaped the sword, and famine, and
disease, think you worthy of every extremity of punishment? when no excuse
can be possibly alleged either before the senate, or before any order of men
whatever, or before the Roman knights, or in the city, or in any part of
Italy, sufficient to induce any one to pardon your enormous crimes? when I
see that even you yourself hate yourself, and are afraid of everybody, and
can find no one to whom you can venture to entrust your cause, and by your
own verdict condemn yourself?
[99]
I have never thirsted for your blood; I have never sought in your case for
that extreme severity of the law and of judgment which at times may fall
alike on the virtuous and on the guilty. But I have wished to see you
abject, despised, scorned by all the rest of the citizens;
looking with despair on your prospects, and abandoned even by yourself;
looking timidly around at every noise which sounded near you; trembling at
everything; distrusting the continuance of even your present safety, such as
it is; not daring to utter a word; deprived of all liberty, destitute of all
authority, stripped of all the dignity of a consul and of a man of consular
rank; shivering, trembling, and fawning on all men. And I have seen you.
Wherefore, if that future befalls you which you are in hourly apprehension
of, I shall be in no respect concerned at it; if it is even a long while
coming, still I shall enjoy the indignities to which you are exposed; and I
shall be quite as well pleased to see you in daily fear of a prosecution as
actually before the court; nor shall I rejoice less at seeing you in
constant and unceasing distress, than I should if I saw you for a short time
in the mourning robe of a criminal on his trial.
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