previous next

[241] author of my letters, threatnin‘ to take personal satisfaction of the writer, I was so skart that I tho't I should quill-wheel right where I was.

You say that Mr. S- is offended at being compared to cats' fur, and is as mad as a March hare (that ain't fur), because I told about the squeezin‘. Now I want you to tell Mr. S- that, rather than fight, I'll make any apology; and, if he wants personal satisfaction, let him only come here, and he may squeeze my hand as hard as I squeezed the butter, and, if that ain't personal satisfaction, I can only say that he is the fust man that was not satisfied with squeezin‘ my hand. If this should not answer, there is one thing more that I would rather do than get a lickin‘. I have long expected to die a widow; but, as Mr. S-is rather good-looking than otherwise, I must say I don't care if we compromise the matter by — really, Mr. Printer, I can't help blushin‘--but I — it must come outI — but widowed modesty — well, if I must, I must-wouldn't he — may be sorter let the old grudge drap if I was to consent to be-be-h-i-s w-i-f-e? I know he's a fightin‘ man, and would rather fight than eat; but isn't marryin‘ better than fightin‘, though it does sometimes run in to it? And I don't think, upon the whole, that I'd be sich a bad match neither: I'm not over sixty, and am jist four feet three in my bare feet, and not much more around the girth; and for color, I wouldn't turn my back to nary a gal in the Lost Townships. But, after all, maybe Im countin‘ my chickins before they are hatched, and dreamin‘ of matrimonial bliss when the only alternative reserved for me may be a lickin‘. Jeff tells me the way these fire-eaters do is to give the challenged party choice of weapons, etc., which bein‘ the case, I'll tell you in confidence that I never fights with anything but broomsticks or hot water or a shovelful of coals or some such thing;

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States License.

An XML version of this text is available for download, with the additional restriction that you offer Perseus any modifications you make. Perseus provides credit for all accepted changes, storing new additions in a versioning system.

hide Places (automatically extracted)

View a map of the most frequently mentioned places in this document.

Download Pleiades ancient places geospacial dataset for this text.

hide People (automatically extracted)
Sort people alphabetically, as they appear on the page, by frequency
Click on a person to search for him/her in this document.
Printer (1)
Jeff (1)
hide Display Preferences
Greek Display:
Arabic Display:
View by Default:
Browse Bar: