DLXXXVII (A XII, 41)
TO ATTICUS (AT OR NEAR ROME)
ASTURA (11 MAY)
I have nothing to write about. However, I want
to know where you are: if you are out of town or
about to be so, when you intend to return. Please,
therefore, let me know. And, as you wish to be
informed when I leave this place, I write to tell
you that I have arranged to stay at Lanuvium on
the 16th, thence next day at Tusculum or Rome.
Which of the two I am going to do you shall know
on the day itself. You know how misery is inclined
to grumble. It is not at all in regard to
yourself, yet I feel a restless desire as to the
shrine. I don't say unless it is built, but unless
I see it being built—I venture to say
this much, and you will take it as you ever do
words of mine—my vexation will redound
upon you, not that you deserve that it should do
so; but you will have to endure what I say, as you
endure and always have endured everything that
affects me. Pray concentrate all
your methods of consoling me upon this one thing.
If you want to know my wishes, they are these:
first Scapula's, second Clodia's; then, if Silius
refuses and Drusus does not behave fairly, the
property of Cusinius and Trebonius. I think there
is a third owner; I know for certain that Rebilus
was one. If however you are for Tusculum, as you
hinted in one of your letters, I will agree to
your suggestion. Pray bring this business to a
conclusion in any case, if you wish me to feel
consoled. You are already finding fault with me in
somewhat severer terms than is customary with you;
but you do so with the utmost affection, and
perhaps tired out by my weakness. Yet all the
same, if you wish me to be consoled, this is the
very greatest of consolations and, if you would
know the truth, the only one. If you have read Hirtius's letter,
which appears to me to be a kind of "first sketch"
of the invective which Caesar has composed against
Cato, please let me know, when you can
conveniently do so, what you think of it. To
return to the shrine: unless it is finished this
summer, which you perceive is all before us, I
shall not consider myself cleared of positive
guilt.
ASTURA (11 MAY)
