[66]
Since writing the above my whole time has been taken up in the labor of our new school, or wasted in the fatigue and lassitude following such labor.
To-day is Sunday, and I am staying at home because I think it is time to take some efficient means to dissipate the illness and bad feelings of divers kinds that have for some time been growing upon me. At present there is and can be very little system or regularity about me. About half of my time I am scarcely alive, and a great part of the rest the slave and sport of morbid feeling and unreasonable prejudice.
I have everything but good health.
I still rejoice that this letter will find you in good old Connecticut-thrice blessed--“oh, had I the wings of a dove” I would be there too. Give my love to Mary H. I remember well how gently she used to speak to and smile on that forlorn old daddy that boarded at your house one summer.
It was associating with her that first put into my head the idea of saying something to people who were not agreeable, and of saying something when I had nothing to say, as is generally the case on such occasions.
Again she writes to the same friend:
Your letter, my dear G., I have just received, and read through three times.
Now for my meditations upon it. What a woman of the world you are grown.
How good it would be for me to be put into a place which so breaks up and precludes thought.
Thought, intense emotional thought, has been my disease.
How much good it might do me to be where I could not but be thoughtless. . . .
Now, Georgiana, let me copy for your delectation
