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“ [198] far short of my conception of it. I shall try to rewrite much of the Essay.”

The Journal of 1864 is a quarto volume, with a full page for every day. There are many blank pages, but the record is much fuller than heretofore.

January 15. Worked all the afternoon at my Essay on Distinction between Philosophy and Religion. Got a bad feeling from fatigue. A sort of trembling agony in my back and left side.”

Yet she went to the opera in the evening, and saw “Faust,” a “composition with more faults than merits.” She concludes the entry with “Dilige et relinque is a good motto for some things.”

Sunday, January 17. It was announced from the pulpit that an Essay on the Soul and Body would be read by a friend at Wednesday evening meeting. That friend was myself, that essay my Lecture on Duality. This would be an honor, but for my ill-deserts. Be witness, O God! that this is no imaginary or sentimental exclamation, but a feeling too well founded on fact.”

After the lecture she writes: “Mr. Clarke introduced me charmingly. I wore my white cap, not wishing to read in my thick bonnet. I had quite a full audience. ... I consider this opportunity a great honor and privilege conferred upon me.”

January 28. At a quarter before 2 P. M. finished my Essay on Philosophy and Religion. I thank God for this, for many infirmities, some physical, some moral, have threatened to interrupt my work. It is done, and if it is all I am to do, I am ready to die, ”

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