CCCXLII (A VIII, 11 d)
TO POMPEY (AT BRUNDISIUM)
FORMIAE, 27 FEBRUARY
When I sent you the letter which was delivered
to you at Canusium, I had no idea that you were
about to cross the sea in the service of the
Republic, and I was in great hopes that we might
eventually be able, while in Italy, to effect an
arrangement—the most advantageous thing
of all in my opinion—or to defend the
Republic without the least loss of dignity.
Meanwhile, before my letter could have reached
you, being informed of your design from your
message sent through Decimus Laelius to the
consuls, I did not wait for a letter from you to
reach me, but with all promptitude began my
journey to join you in Apulia with my brother
Quintus and our sons. When I had reached Teanum
Sidicinum your intimate friend Gaius
Messius, and several others besides, told me that
Caesar was on his march to Capua, and was going to
halt that very day at Aesernia. I was much
disturbed, because, if that were so, I thought not
only that my journey was barred, but that I myself
was fairly caught. So I went no farther than Cales
at that time, intending to wait there, rather than
elsewhere, till something certain was reported to
me from Aesernia in regard to this information.
But at Cales a copy of your letter to Lentulus,
the consul, was brought to me. The substance of
this was that you had received a despatch from L.
Domitius on the 17th of February, a copy of which
you appended, and added that it was of the utmost
importance to the state, that all forces should
concentrate in one place as early as possible, and
that he should leave a sufficient garrison at
Capua. When I read this letter I thought, and
everybody else agreed with me, that you were about
to proceed in full force to Corfinium, to which
place, since Caesar was encamped against it, I did
not think that there was a safe road for me.
Whilst waiting in the greatest suspense for
farther news, I heard two items of intelligence at
the same time—what had happened at
Corfinium, and that you had commenced your march
to Brundisium: and though neither I nor my brother
had any hesitation as to hurrying on to
Brundisium, we were warned by many coming from
Samnium and Apulia to be on our guard against
being intercepted by Caesar, since, having started
for the same district as that to which we were
going, he was likely to arrive at his destination
even quicker than we could. That being the case,
neither I nor my brother, nor any of our friends,
thought it right by rashness on our part to run
the risk of injuring not only ourselves, but the
state also; especially as we felt sure that, even
if the road proved safe to ourselves, we could
not, after all, possibly catch you up so late as
this. Meanwhile I received a letter from you dated
Canusium, 20th of February, in which you urged me
to make still more haste to Brundisium. As I
received this on the 27th, I felt sure that you
had already arrived at Brundisium, and I saw that
the road there was entirely closed to us, and that
we were as completely prisoners as those at
Corfinium. For I do not count as prisoners those
only who have fallen into the hands
of armed men, but those also quite as much who,
being barred from certain districts, find
themselves between garrisons and within the lines
of another. That being so,
my first and greatest desire would have been never
to have been separated from you, and, indeed, I
shewed you my wish when I resigned the charge of
Capua: which I did not do to escape a burden, but
because I saw that that city could not be held
without troops, and I did not wish to meet with
the mischance which I grieve to see has befallen
some very gallant gentlemen. Since, however, I had
not the good fortune to be with you, would that I
had been kept informed of your design! For I could
not possibly guess it, being always accustomed to
think that the last thing in the world to happen
would be that this cause of the Republic should
fail in Italy, while we had you as our leader.
Not, however, that I am now finding any fault with
your policy, but I lament the fortune of the
Republic; and yet, if I fail to see your object, I
do not on that account feel less certain that you
have done nothing without the most careful
calculation. I think you remember what my opinion
has ever been, in the first place, as to
maintaining peace at any price, however unfair; in
the second, as to the city-for as to Italy, you
had never given me any indication of your purpose.
But I do not claim for
myself that my policy ought to have prevailed: I
followed yours, and that not only for the sake of
the Republic—of which I despaired, and
which has already been overthrown, and cannot be
restored without a most mischievous civil
war—but I wanted you: it was with you
that I wished to be; nor will I omit any
opportunity of securing that, if any such occurs.
I was quite aware that in the whole controversy I
was failing to satisfy men who had set their
hearts on war. For, in the first place, I openly
avowed that I preferred peace to everything, not
because I was not afraid of the same things as
they were, but because I regarded them as less
formidable than civil war. In the second place,
after the war had begun, when I saw that
conditions of peace were being offered you, and a
conciliatory and liberal answer was being returned
by you to those proposals, I took my special case
into consideration, a consideration which I
thought in view of your kindness to me I should have no difficulty in justifying in
your eyes. For I remembered that I was the one man
who, in return for the most eminent services to
the state, had suffered the most afflicting and
cruel punishment; the one man who, if I offended
him—to whom, in spite of our being
actually in arms, a second consulship and a most
splendid triumph was being offered-would be
exposed to the same contests as before: for my
person seems ever to present a favourite mark for
the attacks of disloyal citizens. Nor were my
suspicions premature: threats of this sort have
been openly made to me: and I was not so much
afraid of them, if I had to face them, as
convinced that I ought to avoid them, if that
could be done with honour. You have now a resumé, as brief as
possible, of my policy during the time that there
was any hope of peace: for the time following
events made me powerless. But I have an easy
answer to those who find fault with me. I have
never been more devoted to Caesar than they, nor
they more devoted to the Republic than I. The
difference between them and me is this: while they
are loyal citizens, and I deserve the same
honourable title, I wished the controversy settled
by diplomacy (as I know you did too), they wished
it settled by arms. But since the latter method
has won the day, I will take care that the
Republic shall not miss in me the spirit of a
citizen, nor you that of a friend.
FORMIAE, 27 FEBRUARY
